How to Mom When You Just don’t Feel LIke it

A lot of you know THAT feeling. You wake up, feeling like you haven’t slept in years, and you realize that the pounding you hear is actually your brain banging against your skull. Then you suddenly become aware enough to know that the pounding not only sounds deafeningly loud, but it’s also accompanied by the feeling that there’s someone attempting to drive a railroad spike straight through your skull. “Ugh,” you say to yourself. “I just don’t want to mom today!”

You’re not alone

A ridiculous number of women experience migraines regularly. I come from a long line of them and can usually expect to get at least one migraine a month. Sometimes I get them more often if I’m not taking care of myself, or am under a lot of stress. I know I’m in a season where my self-care is non-existent and, surprise! I woke up with a headache. My migraines are painful wake-up calls that say, “Hey, you, you’re not taking care of yourself. Do better!” Fine, message received. I’ll get right on that, just as soon as the EXCRUCIATING PAIN STOPS.

Coping Strategies

So how do you Mom when you just don’t feel like it? Here are a few thoughts.

1. Identify your root cause. Are you not feeling well or are you worried or distracted? Are you feeling a bit depressed? Sometimes just figuring out what the problem is can be helpful. If you’re feeling the way I feel today, I know that tomorrow I should feel better. Then the goal becomes simply making it through today. If it’s something a little more nebulous, try talking it out to see if you can get some perspective and maybe see a light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever it is, find out what’s making you feel unmotivated.
2. Make a list of things that absolutely need to be done, then prioritize them. Things like making sure people are fed and have clothes on (maybe) should be at the top of the list. Throwing in a load of laundry and unloading the dishwasher can go somewhere in the middle, and things that are more physically demanding can probably be put off until you’re feeling better. Personally, I keep a routine checklist of tasks to finish in order to keep things from falling apart. I try to do those things every day unless I am deathly ill.
3. Stay hydrated. This is my big bugaboo. I can get to the end of the day and realize the only fluids I’ve had are 2 cups of coffee. Many times, feeling sluggish or headachy can improve by getting some substantial fluids in your body. I currently use a 42 oz insulated water bottle I found at TJ Maxx. A cute water bottle goes a long way towards making hydration more enjoyable!
4. If the feeling lasts more than a day or two, dig a little deeper. You may need to see a doctor, or if you’re starting to feel depressed, consider seeing a counselor. A few months ago, I realized that I was tired all the time, no matter how much I slept. After some introspection, I realized that I was starting to slide into depression. I gave myself until after Christmas to see if I could snap myself out of it, and fortunately, I did. But I had our family counselor on speed dial just in case. There’s no shame in asking for help, especially as a special needs mom. I can’t possibly stress that enough.
5. If you’re just not feeling it after a week or two, try using an actual pen and paper style planner. If you have one and you aren’t using it, pull it back out and write out your day. I am an unapologetic lover of paper planners, and am a firm believer that there isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t need to use one every single day. My planner is my brain. I write things in it so I don’t have to remember them. It’s very freeing.

At the end of the day, being Mom when you don’t feel like it is just part of adulting. You have to do it whether you really feel like it or not. If, when you go to bed, you can say that your small humans are alive and relatively happy, I’d say you’re winning.