The Importance of Morning and Evening Routines

We’re almost to the end of January, so it’s a little late for me to be posting about starting something new for the New Year. However, I don’t fall into those categories of people who make resolutions or set huge goals for myself in January. I firmly believe you can institute a change in your life at any given time. All it takes is the desire to do so. Beginning a new routine (or perhaps your first one) is usually a good place to start, so we’ll talk today about morning and evening routines. When we’re at the end I’ll give you some sample routines and some worksheets to help get you started. So here we go!

What is a routine?

When the twins were born, admittedly my life felt out of control. Prior to kids, I was a teacher and everything in my life revolved around routine. Bell schedules, class structure, before and after school duty schedules, you name it, there was a process for it. I tend to thrive in structure, as I believe most people do, so in that respect, teaching was a good fit for me. It quickly became apparent to me as I started my journey as a stay-at-home mom that forming routines was going to be paramount to keep my sanity.

A routine is defined as “a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.” For some, this may feel stifling or rigid, and it’s not entirely erroneous to feel that way. If you’re my age, you probably hear the word “routine” and immediately think of Monica and Ross with “The Routine” (I relate to that episode on a deep spiritual level). What I am suggesting does not necessarily apply to one’s entire day, although I could probably make an argument for a “daily routine”. Rather, I propose designing routines to accommodate two segments of time ranging from 10-30 minutes each.

Creating a Morning routine

Morning routines are generally a good place to start if this is your first foray into routines. I am not a morning person. My brain usually isn’t entirely functional until 8;30 on a really good day. Yet, in order to get the kids to school on time, I have to be up at 6, long before I can form a truly coherent thought. In creating my morning routine, I thought about what walking out the door at 7 AM looked like and reverse-engineered what the steps would be to get to that point. I physically wrote these down and posted it on the refrigerator for the first few weeks of school.

Now, if you are a person who struggles with ADD, ADHD, or are in any other way able to categorize yourself as “neuro-diverse”, this process may be difficult. In autism world, the ability to see a finished task and be able to come up with the steps needed to get there is called executive function. Executive function can be a struggle for folks with autism and ADHD. In that case, you may need to enlist a friend or family member to help talk you through the process of getting from point A to point Z.

Sample morning Routine

Allow me to give you a look at what our morning routine looks like.

• Wake everyone up and give X-man his school clothes
• Take twins downstairs, gather their school clothes
• Give twins breakfast while X gets dressed
• Make X’s breakfast
• Take lunches out of fridge, add ice packs
• Get twins dressed
• Put lunch boxes in bookbags
• Send X to brush teeth, put shoes/jackets on twins
• Put twins’ backpacks in car
• Put twins in car
• Make sure X has backpack/jacket
• Leave

I know this seems overwhelming. Most of these “tasks” are actually more like “reminders”, but again, my brain does not function at 6 in the morning. A good many of these tasks only take 30 seconds to a minute. If you think it would help, you could assign time limits to your tasks (6:00-6:10 Wake everyone up and get dressed), but I found that for a hectic time like before school, being too militant can make the stress worse. I’ve found a few naturally occurring cues to be helpful, for instance, the bus coming to get the neighbor kid at 6:10. If everyone isn’t downstairs by the time T’s bus comes for him, we’re running behind. I also employ alarms on my phone, although sparingly, because nothing is worse than alarms going off every 5 minutes.

After going through the routine a few times, certain tasks begin to become second nature. Eventually, you’ll find yourself functioning almost on auto-pilot. Don’t get complacent, though. One small change to the routine and it can throw the whole thing off. The first time Dr. S took it upon himself to get all the kids in the car, I forgot their backpacks and had to drop the kids off and go back for them. Sometimes these things happen, and I think that after three years of taking kids to school, if I’ve only forgotten their backpacks once, I’m doing pretty well.

Creating an Evening Routine

The process for creating an evening routine is similar, but you may find that your goal for your routine is different. In a morning routine, especially if you have kids, your main goal is to get everybody out the door so they’re not late for school. Evening routines can have different end results. For me, I like to take as many tasks as would ordinarily be done in the morning and do them the night before. The big one for me is making lunches. I make the kids’ lunches in their entirety the night before school, pack them in their lunchboxes, and stick them in the fridge. This saves me an ENORMOUS amount of time in the morning.

Maybe you’ve got older kids who handle a lot of those kinds of things on their own, so your evening routine can be more about unwinding from the day and preparing for bed. I think this unwinding process should be in everyone’s evening routine, albeit to varying degrees. If taking a long bath relaxes you at the end of the day and makes you more ready for sleep, go for it. Unplugging from your devices has been scientifically proven to help you sleep better. Try making it a part of your routine to put away your phone 30 minutes before bedtime.

A word about bedtimes

Speaking of bedtime, kids aren’t the only ones who benefit from a set bedtime. This is an ongoing discussion with Dr. S and me. I am borderline inflexible about my 10;30 bedtime, whereas he is likely to fall asleep in his recliner mid-lesson plan somewhere between 9 and 11:30. I know I need to strive for 8 hours of sleep to stay healthy and functional. What’s more, the twins are known to have impromptu “sleep embargoes” that can go on for weeks at a time. This means that on any given day, they could decide that 3 AM is a perfectly respectable time to wake up for the day and continue in this misconception for about a month. I had best be well-rested going into one of those seasons, or I’m more apt to get sick and/or anxious.

What I’m getting at is that having a set bedtime as an adult is every bit as important as it is for kids. Sleep is such a foundational component of general well-being, so it is in your best interest to make sure you’re getting as much as you need. If you’re a person who functions perfectly on 3 hours of sleep, that’s great, you do you. But the vast majority of us need anywhere from 7-9 hours, maybe even more if you’re a woman.

How to create an Evening Routine

Your process will be similar to your morning routine, but slightly different based on what your main goal for your evening routine is. Even if your objective is to relax and unwind from a busy day, I would still highly encourage you to see which “morning tasks” could be migrated to the night before. Being less stressed in the morning is a great way to begin your day and set yourself up for success.

Sample Evening Routine

Here is what my evening routine looks like:

• Finish cleaning up kitchen from dinner
• Make lunches
• Tidy up the living room
• Fold today’s laundry
• Do light blogging tasks (check email, Facebook group, etc.)
• Take a shower
• Read
• Lights out at 10:30

There’s not a lot of physical or mental strain in my routine. I tend to struggle with insomnia, so making sure I’m not overstimulated is important. I also think I’ve found a pretty good balance of taking care of some morning jobs ahead of time and giving myself enough time to downshift from the day. I’m not perfect about this, and obviously, the kids can throw a monkey wrench in this at any given time, but overall, it’s a good routine that works for me.

Wrap up

I hope I’ve convinced you that a morning and evening routine are worth the trouble of setting up for yourself. Once you get the hang of it, you may find that having set routines for other parts of your day are a good idea as well. After-school routines are another particular favorite of mine, and I’m also so extra as to have a “Morning Routine: The Sequel” for after I get home from taking the kids to school. Without routines, I would waste so much time, and who honestly has time to waste? Not me!